Introducing Upper Pylon 3: Analyzing the Science and Fiction of Dating
Welcome to a new few-times-a-month feature on DoorQ- Upper Pylon 3, a dating blog in a language we can understand, kicking knowledge as illustrated by science fiction. Some best-ofs as well as new entries will be updated here at DoorQ. You can see more entires and follow upperpylon3.tumblr.com or via twitter @upperpylon3.
First up, “It’s Not Raining Every Weekend: Good Dates vs Bad Dates.”
It’s easy to fall into a pattern of complacency when you’ve been dating somebody for a while. You’re pretty sure they’re into you and you’re not worried about impressing them any more, so you just go see a movie, grab dinner, or hang out at home. You make excuses, telling yourself “it was a long week,” or “sometimes vegging out is nice,” or “the rain is perfect cuddling weather.”
Well, guess what- It’s not fucking raining every weekend.
Star Trek TNG – “Booby Trap”
Look how bored Geordi’s date is. I’ll spoil this one for you- she doesn’t put out.
Sitting on the couch watching Game of Thrones is easy, but it’s not how you foster a relationship with someone. You’ve gotta put some effort into it if you really want to close that deal.
Did Melora have Dr. Bashir over to make dinner? No, she turned off the fucking gravity, taught him how to do a back flip, and then banged him in zero-G.
Star Trek DS9 – “Melora”
Did Lt. Commander Nela Darren ask the captain if he’d seen the latest season of Mad Men? No, she showed him a secret Jeffrey’s Tube juncture, played a space-duet with him that echoed through the entire fucking star-drive section of the Enterprise, and then cut the music and got to work.
Star Trek TNG – “Lessons”
Deal: Closed. ENGAGE.
Did Worf invite K’Ehleyr over to “cuddle”? No, he joined her in a fight to the fucking death against a pair of hell-spawned beasts on the set of a 24th century version of Apocalypse Now and then shit got Klingon and he mated the hell out of her.
Star Trek TNG – “The Emissary”
Deal: Closed, and signed in blood.
Now, Wesley. Wesley fucking Crusher. “The boy” of “shut up, Wesley” fame. He takes the god-damn first prize on this one. Did he invite Salia over to “hang out and see what’s on On-Demand”? Fuck no. He took her atop a fucking free-floating asteroid that overlooked the wondrous beauty of the entire fucking universe before getting up on that shape-shifting piece of tail.
Just look at that vista and tell me you wouldn’t bang the genius man-child.
Star Trek TNG – “The Dauphin”
Deal: FUCKING CLOSED.